The Curse of the Sandwich
by Sekaira
Summary: Witness the horror of Italy eating a sandwich during the World Meeting! Yet despite the seemingly innocent sandwich the nations hide the secret as to why eating a sandwich around them is taboo... Oneshot


Welcome to my first Hetalia fanfic! As well as my first one shot! Personally I think that for a one shot this went quite well. (I'm normally horrible at one-shots I have an over reactive imagination that insists on turning everything into long chaptered stories.) But I'm digressing.

I actually wrote this because of my history lesson I had the other day where we were looking at the cause of World War 1 and summarised that it was caused by a sandwich. (As well as some other more boring things like nationalism.) So I was inspired to write this story from the nations POV of how World War 1 would have started, and as it's Hetalia I tried to play up the funnier side although I'm not sure how well I succeeded. Will you let me know in the reviews?

Speaking of History now though is it just me and my friend who can't stop laughing at the Schiefflen plan during lessons?

Please rate and review! ve~

* * *

The Curse of the Sandwich

* * *

Russia

As usual, the World Conference had gone entirely off topic, America had produced another of his crazy schemes and England was currently arguing with him. This would have been fine had they not been exchanging insults for over four hours, Russia was now sure that this was a new record.

Meanwhile most of the other nations had found something else to do. Japan appeared to be reading, Greece was petting a cat, France was watching the argument in amusement, Romano and Spain were also arguing, well at least Romano was throwing insults at Spain, Spain just seemed to be looking at Romano. China was currently conversing with Taiwan who looked like she'd much rather be talking to Japan but was politely listening anyway. The Baltics had moved to the other end of the table as soon as England and America had started arguing Russia had noted. Prussia was currently annoying Germany simply for being there when he shouldn't have been, saying something along the lines of 'the awesome me being unstoppable West!' Germany himself seemed to be struggling to ignore Prussia and was trying to focus on the person sat opposite him instead. Italy. Italy was jabbering away to Germany and rummaging around in his bag (which Russia was confused as to why Italy had brought as he never appeared to make notes) but eventually Italy had produced a box and Russia sat back, curiosity satisfied at the fact that Italy was just bringing food.

Now this could be interesting. Food had been known to cause some very interesting situations during world meetings. They had needed to cancel one meeting when England had brought in scones and dared the nations to eat them. (Russia had done so with no problem. He had not gone through famines without learning to appreciate food even if it did taste as bad as England's.) Canada had also brought in brownies once… that hadn't ended well. The most interesting though, in Russia's opinion was also the most recent. Italy had brought in a huge bowl of spaghetti. Unfortunately, Italy had had no chance to eat it for Turkey had picked up the bowl and thrown it at Greece during one of their arguments over Japan. This incident had led to a full-fledged food fight between the nations and Pasta had gone everywhere.

So this was why Russia was sat back and looking at the box in front of Italy wondering what he had brought with him this time.

Yet when Italy pulled out the sandwich and bit into it happily, Russia was quite sure that he was not the only one to be staring at the oblivious Italian.

It was taboo to eat a sandwich in a meeting. Especially, especially if you were sat between Austria and Hungary.

It all started when Serbia approached him back before 1908, Russia mused.

The small nation had been trembling violently – not unlike how Latvia often did, informing him of how he wished to seek for independence from Austro-Hungary.

To be perfectly honest Russia had been surprised, why had Serbia come to him?

England was known for having issues when his colonies wanted independence but he would be happy to support the collapse of another empire.

France was closer, as well had been going through a relatively peaceful time currently.

Yet Serbia had come to him. It hadn't mattered that as of the time Russia had been plagued by revolutionary action, that Bloody Sunday was still fresh in his mind haunting his movements, that the Duma's had been failing.

Serbia had come to him for help.

Of course it had been simply because, Serbia shared a religion as well as promise to help Russia gain control of the Dardanelles (Which Russia really did want.) But never the less Russia never forgot that small moment of light when Serbia approached him and extended a hand of alliance and friendship. Russia had of course agreed to support Serbia's rise of nationalism. It was beneficial to the both of them. Which is of course why he'd accepted… he didn't plan on making a habit of helping people out.

Serbia had left quickly though, mumbling something about politics and that damn Austria and Hungary.

The next Russia had heard of the situation was that Austro-Hungary had annexed Bosnia. This has happened in the year 1908 if Russia recalled correctly. Russia had spent some time frowning, pondering over what to do while sat next to his boss – Tsar Nicholas II. He had liked Nicholas, he had been good to him and was less firm than his father had been, he liked to spend more time with his family and let Russia join him. Russia could remember spending balls dancing with his daughters and sitting beside the Tsarina Alexandra as their son lay bedridden and screaming in pain.

Russia could remember briefly wondering if this boy was going to be the end of Tsardom, the end of Russia, if Russia would die with this child. If Russia would even exist or if his land would fade and be taken by the others.

But while he and his Boss had been sat pondering Serbia had reappeared. Russia could still recall the conversation. Most of it at least, it might have faded over the years of alcohol consumption and revolutions.

"Sir Russia and Tsar Nicholas," Serbia had addressed formally, yet Russia hadn't missed the flinch of Nicholas at the mention of Russia before him. However nice a person Nicholas II was he was a Tsar, ruler of Russia, he had ordered the action against protesters on that Sunday of 1905 without a flinch. He would support Tsardom right through to the end Russia had thought.

"I have come to request aid in freeing Bosnia of Austro-Hungary. Freedom amongst the Balkans is an important part of championing our aim to be independent. Bosnia also requests this aid and is sorry for not being able to come himself." Serbia added, his head bowed politely.

Nicholas gave him a slight tilt of the head as a sign of recognition.

"Russia, It's in our interest to help them so would you go to Austro-Hungary and tell them that Russia disapproves of their presence in Bosnia." Nicholas asked.

Russia nodded. It had been phrased like a question but he knew quite well it wasn't. "I shall head out immediately, da?"

"Da," his boss answered.

Serbia gave the two a grateful smile, "I shall be returning to my country then, my thanks for your aid."

Russia had fixed his scarf and followed Serbia out of the room; he needed to send a letter to Austria to inform him of his visit.

It had not taken long before Russia was stood in front of Austria's house. Nor much longer before, he was sat at a table across from Austria and Hungary. The silence had been unnerving.

Cough. Russia cleared his throat and tried to think of some acceptable way to start the conversation. His eye caught sight of the slim golden bands wrapped around their left hands ring finger.

"Congratulations on your marriage by the way, I don't believe I have ever had the chance to personally congratulate you before." Russia commented.

"Thank you" Austria answered stiffly, "But what brings you here Russia?"

Ah, well, he could just get straight to the point if that's what they wanted.

"I would like you to leave Bosnia." Russia said calmly.

"Why would you be bothered about our influence in Bosnia?" Austria answered evenly.

"It affects my interest in the Dardanelles." Russia replied. Probably best not to mention Serbia, Serbia was still technically under Austro-Hungary rule even if he was rebelling their influence.

"That is of no consequence surely," Russian turned to face Hungary warily, Austria had never been hugely strong by himself but with Hungary at his side they're influence had grown rapidly. Hungary was someone not to be underestimated, Russia had summarised, she was not unlike Belarus – both were of highly smart wit and excellent at fighting, at least Hungary wasn't rushing after him asking to marry him. But that did still mean that Hungary was to be considered as dangerous, she was not someone Russia wanted to be offending.

Especially as she was currently twisting a rather heavy looking frying pan about in her hand.

"Russia, I would like to maintain my influence in Bosnia, surely I can assure you that with an influence as strong as mine you're rights to the Dardanelles will be fine." Austria assured, one eye also warily watching Hungary's frying pan.

"Well…" Russia was unsure; it was true that as of the moment Austria did have a fairly large influence.

"They'll be fine right!" Hungary proclaimed, a dangerous tone to her voice, she had stood up, frying pan pointed at Russia.

Russia had moved back. Only a little bit, but he had no wish to be hit over the head with Hungary's frying pan.

"I see. I shall be taking my leave then." Russia had answered before hastily, while trying to appear highly composed, leaving the Austro-Hungarian household.

Now what was he supposed to tell his boss?

* * *

Serbia

Serbia watched as Italy happily took another bite of his Sandwich seemingly oblivious to the fact that even America and England had stopped arguing and turned to stare at him.

It brought back so many memories and none of them good.

"I am sorry; I was unable to convince them to leave Bosnia." Russia had informed him over the phone.

Serbia had sighed; he had hoped that a big and strong nation like Russia would be able to change Austria and Hungary's minds but apparently not.

Not that he could entirely blame him; Hungary was scary.

"I see, I shall inform Bosnia." Serbia had answered and he had heard Russia take an intake of breath as if he wished to say something else before Russia seemed to decide better of it and hung up.

Time had passed and Serbia watched conflicted as tension between them and Austro-Hungary heightened. He really didn't want a war but the way things were turning out at the moment it was looking like war would be a possibility. At least he would have Russia as an ally, and probably France too as Russia and France were allies.

Meanwhile Serbia kept his ear to the ground as a group known as the 'black hand' started to take action. They were a 'secret' organisation that was willing to take drastic measures to achieve their independence.

This is how he heard about how the Black Hand wished to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand – heir to the Austro-Hungary throne, while he was visiting Bosnia.

And this led to a the biggest argument he had seen his government have in a long, long time. On one hand if the Black Hand did achieve the assassination there was the chance it could work out as the Black Hand hoped and they could prove to the world that they were serious about gaining their independence. This is also, why most of the general public in his country supported the black hand movement. Yet such an action could also lead to Austro-Hungary proclaiming war on Serbia. Yet they could not out-rightly inform Austro-Hungary of the assassination without looking weak in front of their people.

They had argued for ages over it until his boss had come up with the idea. The idea that was as simple as 'subtly' informing Austria of an assassination attempt which would lead to Austria tightening his guard around Franz Ferdinand so that there would only be an attempted assassination, this would benefit both sides they finally agreed on.

So that was why he had gone round Austria's for tea.

The conversation was kept very light for the most part, they chatted politely about things completely unrelated to politics, until the visit to Bosnia popped up.

"I am pleased to hear that the archduke is visiting Bosnia, Bosnia is happy to have him coming I hear" Serbia had said, sipping from his teacup slowly and watching Austria from the corner of his eye.

"Yes, Franz is very happy to be going, he's taking his wife Sophie with him you know as it's their anniversary. He's glad that she's allowed to be at his side for a change." Austria murmured, sipping elegantly at his tea and looking very much like he would rather be sat in front of his piano.

"Wouldn't it be dreadful if someone tried to assassinate him" Serbia muses, trying to look complacent despite the fact his heart was beating wildly and he was keeping an eagle eye out for how Austria would react.

Austria took another sip of his tea, "Yes that would be dreadful."

Serbia cringed, he'd thought that he had perhaps been too forward with his subtlety but Austria didn't seem to catch on. "You are taking precautions?" Serbia questioned, wondering exactly how blunt he should be.

"Of course, of course," Austria answered, "the normal."

"Are you sure you shouldn't be being more careful? There is some unrest in Bosnia I hear." Serbia pressed on.

"No need I'm sure, they wouldn't try anything against us." Austria replied.

And just like that the topic was dropped and Serbia failed to bring it up again.

* * *

Austria

Austria watched in irritation and worry as Italy took the third bite of his sandwich. He was sat right next to him and Hungary the other side, frying pan in hand. Austria had no idea whether Hungary was actually capable of hitting Italy with the frying pan; she had brought the boy up like her own son. Yet at the same time, he knew that Hungary had been a great friend of Sophie.

He had been there as well, the day Franz was assassinated.

All had seemed fine as the day started; in fact, he hadn't seen Franz so happy in ages, one hand around Sophie's glad to have her by his side.

Everything had still seemed fine as the car drove through the crowds who seemed generally happy to see Franz there. Austria had paused for one moment when he spotted someone who was just staring at the car, unmoving, unsmiling. However, nothing happened and Austria had told himself that he was overreacting.

They had not gone much further when there was a distinctive 'clink'. The car had accelerated immediately, and Austria had needed to turn in his seat to watch an assassin throw a grenade at Franz.

Franz had reacted quicker than Austria had. He had instinctively pulled Sophie closer to him and raised one arm in defence. Much to Austria's astonishment Franz actually managed to bat the grenade away even though the three of them flinched in horror as the grenade went off in the crowd behind them, bringing the car behind them to a halt.

Austria had jumped out of the side of the car in a flash, to bothered to actually open the door like a proper gentlemen. He had pushed through the crowd to the lamppost from which the grenade had been bashed against to release the safety pin; he wanted to find the assassinator. He wanted… He wanted… he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted but it wasn't good, at least for the assassin.

When he found the assassin though it wasn't quite as he expected. He was bent over double and throwing up heavily on the ground. The acrid smell of the sick was disgusting and Austria instinctually recoiled moving his foot away from the mucky puddle on the ground. Austria took a breath of fresh air before grabbing the assassin by the shoulders and forcing him to look up.

"What did you take?" He asked, half shaking the person.

"Cy-Cyanide" the assassin mumbled, promptly throwing up again at Austria's feet.

Austria frowned; Cyanide should have killed him by now. Unless… it was out of date.

The assassin in front managed to push back away from him, and Austria saw him look desperately around for some form of escape. He would have no wish to go to prison. The assassin suddenly lurched away from him but in the exact opposite direction of which Austria had expected him to go so he was merely left to watch as the assassin ran past him. Nevertheless… the only thing that way was the river.

Splash. The assassin jumped and Austria wondered if he was seriously trying to drown himself instead of going to prison. Austria sighed and stepped away from the sick and signalled to the service pointing towards the river.

Unfortunately, for the assassin he would be going to prison, because Austria knew that the river was far too shallow for him to drown in.

Austria watched as the soaking wet assassin was dragged away and went to join Franz and Sophie who were stood by an ambulance watching the driver of the car behind them be put on a stretcher and taken to a way to the hospital.

He rested one hand on Franz's shoulder who was watching the ambulance pull away guiltily.

"It wasn't your fault Franz" Austria comforted, "Come on let's carry on to lunch shall we? You could use some food to help get over the shock."

Therefore, they had continued on to lunch in relative peace, the crowds had mostly dispersed and despite Franz getting annoyed at the welcome speech (they hadn't heard of the assassination attempt apparently) all was ok.

And because Austria liked Franz as a person, when Franz asked to visit the person in hospital before they left Austria had seen no reason to refuse him.

So they had piled back into the car and started driving off to the hospital. Or at least that was where they were planning on going. What they succeeded in doing was getting lost. They came to a halt in front of a sandwich shop and the driver fumbled to find the room to turn the car around.

And that was when Austria had seen him.

He didn't look particularly special. Just a normal young man, exiting the sandwich shop, sandwich in hand. But when the man looked up and spotted the car Austria got to look at his eyes.

There was a drive in them. An ambition.

He fumbled in his pocket for a moment before finding what he was looking for.

Austria's eyes widened and he turned around to face Franz and Sophie. "Watc-"

He was too late.

The shot had been fired and the red blossom bloomed. Sophie slumped forward in her chair, and Franz leant over her worriedly, matching red blood dripped down both of them and their breath came in short pants. "No, Sophie! Think of the children!" Franz cried.

Austria had seen many people die in his lifetime, but he hadn't seen two people he cared for a lot murdered right in front of him before. He froze for a moment, unsure how to react and in this moment, Franz let out his last breath.

Austria's movements were robotic as he climbed out of the car and headed towards the assassin. He was on his knees in front of him, throwing up no doubt from the expired cyanide. This time Austria paid no time to the sick swishing around his shoes.

"Arrest him," he ordered.

"Ju-Just kill me, please." The assassin mumbled barely coherent.

"I think that you'll suffer more in a prison boy. Dying's the coward's way out." The words are colder than he's ever been before.

The sandwich lies forgotten on the floor and Austria stares at it for a moment. If this boy hadn't come for this sandwich would all this never have happened?

* * *

Germany

Germany wasn't worried. At least that's what he told himself.

So what if a sandwich had caused World War 1? That didn't mean that Italy shouldn't be able to eat a sandwich in a world meeting… although it would be far preferable if he didn't. Austria looked like he was on the verge of snapping and Hungary was throwing glances from the sandwich to Italy, to her frying pan and back again.

After Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife were assassinated, Austro-Hungary had sent an ultimatum to Serbia. It had been full of unreasonable demands and most of countries believed that there was no way that Serbia would accept them

Much to their surprise though – he did.

To all but one at least

But for Austro-Hungary it was all or nothing and War on Serbia was proclaimed.

In response, Russia declared war on Austro-Hungary and to him as well as he was their ally.

And in response he had declared war on France.

So France didn't really have anything to do with this. He himself had been against it too, he knew it was likely that France would join in the fight as he was allies with Russia but Germany hated the Schiefflen plan.

The plan required Germany to send 10% of his troops to the Russian border and hold them off, while the other 90% went and stormed France and took the capital in 6 weeks. It also relied on being able to march through Belgium without issue, which Germany had felt bad about because Belgium was neutral. The plan also relied on Britain being too scared to attack. Which Germany felt was ridiculous, anyone who'd met the stubborn gentlemen knew that he wasn't one to back down in fear, he'd been a pirate for goodness sake. Then 10% of troops would stay in France and the rest would go help the effort in fighting Russia.

But the thing he really hated about the plan was taking Paris. He was no Prussia; he didn't storm around taking countries vital regions.

What 's more, it was France.

Germany had half thought he'd welcome him he was such a pervert.

Needless to say he had been glad when his boss had told him to go do something else. He had been asked to go and fight a decedent of the Roman Empire in Italy. They needed to make sure that Italy didn't get in the way of the battle and this had seemed to be the most efficient way to do it.

So it was this, technically a sandwich, that had led to him confronting a box of tomatoes fairy and making a new friend.

Maybe that one sandwich had caused a world war, but that was in the past and it was better to focus on what good had come of it, namely that he now had a firm friend in Feliciano.

"Hey, Italy, can I have a sandwich too?"

* * *

So um, historical notes.

Bloody Sunday is an important date in Russian History in the year 1905 in which a peaceful protest march turned into a massacre of Russia's own people. In the canon universe it's supposedly the date Russia-kun went insane

Serbia was a country under the rule of Austro-Hungary at the time, however they were championing nationalism particularly for the Balkans. Serbia came to Russia because they share a Slavic religion of which a believe about 50% of Russians were. Serbia is an OC as I don't think a Serbia exists yet. Same with Bosnia.

The Balkans are a group of country's located to the south east of Europe which were building nationalism at the time.

A Duma was part of a new 'democratic' Russian government set up by the Tsar. There were four of these before the war. They had little influence in what they could actually do and the Tsar didn't like them.

Austro-Hungary annexed Bosnia in 1908. It basically means that they took control of Bosnia without actually adding them to the Austro-Hungary empire. I think... You may need to correct me on this.

The Dardenelles that Russia keeps referring to is a strait that leads from Russia through the Balkans to the sea. It is a valuable port for Russia that they really would have wanted to either control or have access through.

Tsar Nicholas II was the last Tsar, he loved his family a lot but was a Tsar at heart and supported Tsardom right through, his wife Alexandra was also lovely but she was dislike by the Russians because she she originally couldn't speak Russian very well and she spent a huge amount of time looking after her sick son, instead of out socialising. Nicholas had several daughters and one son. His son suffered from an illness which was basically the result of a long line of incest. (His wife wasn't his sister or anything like that it's just that royals married royals so among all the royal families eg. Britain, France and Russia there was a lot of shared blood.)

da is a Russian word for yes. I used the romanized version because I figured that it would be easier for you to read.

The Black Hand was a Serbian 'secret' organisation that supported nationalism. I put 'secret' in quotations because everybody knew about them. Seriously, I have a picture of some of the members in my history textbook - what kind of secret organisation takes pictures of it's members?

Oh and when Austria mentions how Franz was glad to have Sophie at his side it's because Franz married a girl of lower class so the condition for their marriage was that she wasn't allowed to be treated as his equal. However because Bosnia was only annexed the rule didn't apply and she was allowed to be by him.

So I think that's everything, if I missed anything you wanted explained or If I've made a mistake somewhere please feel free to correct me, I'm typing this up in the middle of the night so there's bound to be mistakes somewhere...

If you want elaboration on anything as well feel free to PM me.

Please Rate and Review!

Sekaira.


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